I decided I'd get on today, mainly because we missed church (ARGHHH!!) <--- 2nd week in a row! So I find myself with an extra 3 hour block of time to fill. My husband is watching the Colts game (every now and then he makes an appearence so I know the commercials are on, then he disappears again and the yelling & whooping start again from the bedroom, indicating game time is in full swing)
The kids are doing various things around the house, trying to stay entertained without having to turn the tv on. This is something they are doing, to prove a point to ME. I made an innocent enough comment about how they can't go through a whole day, let alone a few hours without their precious shows, something also about 'brains' and 'mush'. Which they all, vehemently denied, vowing to prove me wrong the first chance they got.
I have to admire them, their resolve hasn't wavered so far, they still have that intensity that only a child can have when absolving to prove a parent figure wrong.
Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the added benefit (because, really, how often is there NO T.V going on somewhere in a house?) of watching my kids intereact with one another.
The girls are making me print out more color-by-numbers than I ever want to see again, even the youngest (2) is joining in and having a ball scribbling and repeating random words she hears her sisters use.(She watches them so intensely, then, rather flippantly, tries to sound out a new word, no big deal. But everytime, her sisters, (and me, being invisible to this whole charade), coo cute noises of encouragement to her, to which she smiles brilliantly, and says the word again.) The last word which killed me was "Lellow".
My oldest son is reading. He's recently rediscovered his passion for books again, which I love, only his choice in material is somewhat dark. (Skeleton Creek??) But at least he's reading ... right?
My youngest son is going back and forth between watching football with his dad, and annoying the good HECK out of his sisters. I'll every now and then catch a "get OUT!! Leave us alone - you can't be over here! MOOOOOOM!" By the time I go to step in, he's long gone, a master at this game. He's caused an adequate enough upset, without having gone too far, in which case 'Mom' steps in and there's consequences.
And then there's me, the silent observer in the background, appearing only when I'm needed, (or to change a diaper or two) other than that, I'm quite content to go about watching my family and taking notes, little mental pictures, of a Sunday afternoon in which my family is definitely a unit, but all doing their own thing.
And I ultimately think that's what mothers do. We have our families. It's almost like, your children come along and that's your life for the next 20 years. Your job, to keep them in one piece, to fill them up with love, and values. To make sure that when you release them into the world as adults, they are the kind of people that make the world better, make others better. And you need 20 or so years for that, because it's so important, and it takes time to one, figure out how you're going to accomplish all that. And two, teach your children, while protecting them, defending them and keeping them safe.
Then when the kids are gone, and the dust settles, you find your mate again, and all the things that had to hibernate when the kids arrived, get to come out again. Travel, long, romantic weekends in bed, spur of the moment decisions. Interrupted only by phonecalls from frantic new parents asking the 'hows', 'what' and 'wheres' of unfamiliar ground, and that I think, is also an everlasting benefit or reward from surviving parenthood the first time around. It's such a slice of heaven that you get to experience bits n pieces of it through your children and grandchildren. Only, you're calmer, more familiar with the territory, so you can relax, and experience it as one long mental picture!
As I was about to close this out, my darling youngest came over to me, tears in her eyes and a dropped lip to rival any actress, she looked solemnly at me and said 'Owie Mommy', holding her little finger up.
I am a firm believer that when you're a mom, and you have your baby, until that child is about 3 or 4, (walking, talking clearly, discovered independence) you share an invisible link. I can read her expressions three or four steps before she's even registered anything on her face. And vice versa. She can read me like a book. I hadn't even begun to sympathize with her and she knew right what I was going to say and do. Her whole face relaxed, she clambered onto my lap, snuggled into my chest (after receiving the expected, and rightly so, kisses and lamentations to the injury) happy, snug and safe. It breaks my heart that I can bring such a sense of peace to someone so precious.
And as said precious is sitting in my lap (and thanks to Lord of the Rings, I can never really say or think the word 'Precious' without hissing it just like Gollum. Thank you Peter Jackson!) I'm finishing this post up. I hope it made sense, I have a wonderful way of expecting everyone else to understand my ramblings, lol. So, my apologies if I sound a few nuts short of a squirrel dinner.
Til we meet again. xx
The color-by-number art pieces!