Friday, January 8, 2010

What would you do

I really hate to rant (I prefer to post with substantial goodies, but sometimes, there's a call for it)
I am 30 years old, and among my small circle of friends and acquaintances there seems to be the age old "He said, She said" scenario that happens almost daily. At this stage of my life, I'm not only beyond sick & tired of this type of behavior, but I despise it. I canNOT stand the "hen" like clucking that goes on (usually between women) of chinese whispers.
One person starts something, someones name is thrown out there, there's denials all round and before you know it - this one isn't speaking to that one & we have episode 425 of 'Days of our lives'.
An incident happened recently, that to me, was small & inconsequential, but the kicker was, should I deny MY part in the 5th grade drama - I'm, in essence, giving it creedence and this isn't anything I want to do as it can be used against me. *sigh*
Catch 22, vehemently deny involvement, and I'm essentially, admitting I had something to do with it, say nothing, and it looks guilty! Then there's the age old gem of, if you hear something about someone enough, eventually the denials begin to look thin.
In the case of this particular drama, I am actually clean (& I'm not really the type of person who will "talk smack" about someone else, don't get me wrong - I can b*tch with the best of them, but if I say something, it's not anything I wouldn't say to that persons face. I don't know if that's good or bad!)
The thing is, the person in question whose being spoken 'badly' about happens to be my very best friend. Luckily she knows ME well enough to dismiss the pathetic ramblings that were thrown out there, but it bothers me.

[This picture is of me and my friend in question with her son, C]

Are we in grade school? How do you combat this type of "got-nothing-better-to-do" stuff? It really gets me going, and my friend (when I became irate, as this isn't the first time something like this has happened) asked me to please not say anything, as it only cause more grief for her. Rock & a hard place.
I really feel like people like this need to be held accountable. If you confront them, theres only 2 places for them to go. Flustered "confusion", or out right lying. In which case, you give them a "look".
The one that says "You know and I know - you are lying through your teeth"
But at the end of the day - what do you do?
I like to think I live my life see-through enough that should hard to believe rumors surface, people, for the most part, are intelligent enough to put 2 and 2 together, and disregard what was said out of the sheer idiocy of the situation.
Having said that, you never know. There are the kinds of people who won't pass up an opportunity for a good gossip session (harmless or no) and that only makes the situation worse!

The only thing you can do is tighten your armor and put on the brave face of "I don't care what they think of me!" Which we all know, deep down, is a lie. But it's the only way to make it through the whole thing with dignity.
The sad part about this situation, is what was said was so incredibly pointless, that it's almost like you analyze the event & come to the conclusion of "Are you kidding me??"
The other thing I have in my favor is the person making these claims has a history of doing this kind of thing, in  a way, it's like she needs to do it - much like an addict. And me - well, I would rather spend time doing something productive & fun. But ... each to their own.
My husband thinks these women in general are just plain nuts, yet when I try to talk it out with him ("So should I say something? Put it out there? Let her know we all know the truth?" He rolls his eyes and doesn't want any part of it - "Take the high road" he'll say, "You're better than that".
But satisfaction, that doesn't bring. So what's a girl to do? Allow someone to slander you, making false accusations? (While you grind your teeth and fantasize what you would like to say in front of a town hall meeting about her?)
Or 'Take the high road"? While far less satisfying, it does indeed make you a better person - but it doesn't stop rolling around in my head. That base instinct to defend myself (with some humiliation for the culprit thrown in for good measure), but at the end of the day - I'll leave it be. But man oh man - am I annoyed!
Childish high school dramas that I am well past dealing with invading in my otherwise normal day.
So to that person (you know who you are) don't put words in my mouth - people know me, and they know you. And trust me - you don't come out smelling like 3 day old leftovers, let alone roses.
So as tomorrow dawns a new day - do something worthwhie, take your kids to a movie, get a mani/pedi,  deal with the things that matter - the whole "Like, she said this, like yanno? It's like totally unreal right? Like, can you believe it??" gives the beginning throbs of a headache in my temples, so I'd rather just not do this, and we can all go about our lives as if nothing ever happened. Deal?
Such a waste of a post, I know - but I wasn't getting enough 'venting medication' from hubby, so I ended up here talking your ear (writing* eyes*) off, thanks for indulging me. If you've had this type of eye rolling 'here-we-go-again' stuff go on in your life, PLEASE let me know how long this lasts for, what to do to "rise above it, not react, and fight the urge to kick some you know what cos you're just so dang sick of it, I'd appreciate that.

As for me, I'm off to curl up on the couch, watch a movie & take deep breaths. At least I have my health right? (LOL - I have Lupus. SO I CAN'T EVEN TAKE COMFORT IN THAT!!)
Gah!! I am beginning to feel like JOB ;)

Oh! And P.S - if you know of a fantastic blog designer who does just super fabulous work - let me know, I want to update my blog to make it more user friendly, and am beginning to figure out what I want from this blog, so I need someones expertise to help me accomplish that goal - please email me with recommendations, I'd appreciate it no end! Well, I'm out - but til the next post - stay away from drama!!
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